Field Guide to a Springtime Display

In Honky Tonk on 04/03/2010 at 10:15 am

Common Name: Boobs    Here's some now!

Scientific Name: Tatas Outtus

Habitat: Never in complete hibernation, their presence explodes in the warmer months.

Range: From Honky Tonk to Bars to Church

Description:  With an extraordinay range of plumage, size and presentation, Boobs are non discriminatory and can be seen on minors, middle agers and retirees.  Their presence is almost universal and these creatures are definitely not shy.  In fact if you stand in one place for only a few moments, one might fly right by you.  Occasionally, especially in very crowded honky tonks, mostly likely if you have a full drink in your hand, you may have an actual encounter.  Boobs require only a neckline which dips below the neck.

Interesting Facts:

  • It is actually harder to NOT find Boobs, increasingly so in the warm season.
  • Best observation practices include not making direct eye contact or indicating in any way you have actually noticed them.
  • Do NOT compete with Boobs.  These creatures can peacefully co-exist only by ignoring similar species.
  • Boobs can be judgmental of non displayers.

Happy Hunting!

Random expired trivia:  Disneyland dress code used to exclude men with long hair from entering the park.


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