honkytonkfoodie

The Taste is Going to Move Ya

In Food on 02/16/2010 at 4:15 pm

Cheese, as my BF says, is my kryptonite.

I am lactose intolerant and have been that way for most of my life.  Lucky, after this much time, I know some tricks (going a couple of days without any cheese allows me to have a small bit, white cheese is easier on the stomach than yellow, morning is a bad time) and I appreciate that a) it’s not a milk allergy and b) my tummy only gets cranky and bloated.  The majority of meals we make at home and I don’t use cheese in them.  We have butter made with yogurt and dairy-free/ lactose-free cream cheese in the frig.  I do have a major weakness for queso dip and ice cream; thank goodness for Lactaid and its generic cousins, which are also handy when dining at other people’s functions.  Being a fussy guest is something I strive not to be therefore I carry those little pills at all times.

Ultimately problems occur when I go out to eat in a chain restaurant.  These places make me feel dirty in general and I try to avoid them (like a good foodie should) but sometimes these things are inevitable.  The amount of lactose laden items on the menus of these places is overwhelming.  I understand many, many people feel so strongly about cheese that they are cheating on their life partners with it.  The public has made it a big hit.  For a glimpse into the world of lactose fear however, here’s a menu breakdown from various online sources.

  1. Beware of items that list Cheese.  That’s an easy one to start.
  2. Any item with the adjective ‘creamy’.
  3. Dressings such as ranch, Caesar, blue cheese.  Getting these on the side means a pain free, yet dry meal.
  4. Many dips, especially warm ones, are creamy.  Spinach & Artichoke for example.
  5. Queso – for any non-Texans, queso at its most basic is melted Velveeta and Rotel canned tomatoes.  It can range from this to meat laden with every option in between but the base is always cheese, processed to greatness.
  6. Sour Cream
  7. Anything were a specific cheese is mentioned, i.e. Parmesan, Provolone or Cheddar.
  8. Ice Cream topped anything.
  9. Cheesecake
  10. Cream-based liquors like Tequila Rose, Bailey’s Irish Cream and Crème de Menthe

Even writing those made my tummy kind of pissy.  There are some plusses though.  Its has served a good excuse to not eat something that looks scary.  It’s a helpful weight management aid, built right in.  It allows me to be creative in the kitchen.  So it is not all bad.  Mostly just interesting.  Support your local intolerants and serve some fruit!

Today’s random trivia, courtesy of A.S.: There are 40,000 Chinese restaurants in the U.S., more than McDonald’s, Burger King, and KFC combined.

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