Formal Events vs. Honky Tonks

Last night, I attended a fancy holiday party for work.  It was at a very nice hotel, with a wide assortment of beer and people being generally classy.  Tonight, I will be attending a show at a honky tonk.  The joint is old, the beer selection is relatively limited and at least one person will step on my boot.

First the similarities of these two events:

1. Loud music
2. Social awkwardness
3. Cleavage
4. Tipsy women
5. My boots

That is about it.  The company party was an obligation which involved dragging my hubs and refraining from making commentary (within earshot anyway), while tonight, I am leaving my space-heater warmed home on the range, and driving in the cold and rain to hear a band I can’t recall a single song I know.

What is my point?

You can’t force fun.  Honky tonking is good for the soul.  Support your local one today!

And now, a gratuitous picture for you visual people.

Imperfection karma claim: Martha Stewart has been hit by lightening three times.

Upcoming Road Trip!

Next Saturday, October 22nd, we will be in the country near La Vernia, TX at Kicaster Country Store.

South Texas Wranglers play.  Serious dancing music so boots are a necessity.  Come on if you want to be on the bandwagon of fun!

 

“I saw this on tv and have no interest in figuring out if it’s true” fact:  62% of women will not enter a bar that has three motorcycles parked in front of it.

 

Road Trip 5.5, or This is a post about Luckenbach

Mini road trip on Good Friday, people!

Luckenbach is a nice place to be when the tourists are not there so choose your timing wisely.  If you’ve never heard of Luckenbach, then thank your lucky stars you found this blog!

I have no intention of re-inventing the wheel; here is the history.

The weather was nice, the beer was cold and of my particular preference and, as usual, the McKay Brothers (with special guest Brennan Leigh) had a sound that defined the space.  Luckenbach was made for days like this and you should be sorry you missed it.

Couldn’t completely avoid being a tourist though.  The official photographer of HTF made us take a picture by the bathrooms.  Aromatic!

Most importantly, however, was the glimpse into my, and possibly your own, future.  And I can honestly say, I really, really like what I see:

Cheers!

Just be careful of those roads…

Thanks to driver A.S., photographer A.R. and participant D.H.!

Crazy, wasteful fact: A shampoo containing real beer was marketed in the 1970s under the brand name Body On Tap. (Thanks Mental Floss)

Three Roadtrips A’Comin’

February 26 – The Old Coupland Inn and Dancehall, located 25 miles from Round Rock and Austin.  www.couplanddancehall.com We will be spending the night at the Holiday Inn Express in Elgin, about 15 miles away.

April 9 – Kendalia Hall, about an hour outside of San Antonio into the Hill Country. www.kendaliahall.com

May 21 – Albert Dancehall, about an hour and a half outside of San Antonio into the Hill Country.  www.alberttexas.com

Giddy up!

A Time to Drink a Shiner Black

Club 21 in Uhland, Texas (mentioned here on December 8, 2009) has BURNED DOWN.  It’s a sad, sad day for Texas honky tonks.

To understand the gravity of the situation, Club 21 is now closed for the first time in 117 years. On October 24th, an auto accident caused it to catch fire and burn down.  As you can see below, nothing is left.

Rebuilding is being mentioned already.  Here is the official website for more info: Club 21 Dancehall.

Thank you to Almost Out of Gas for the news.

 

That’s Unnecessary fact: Colgate claims “Tooth Fairy” as a registered trademark.

 

New post! Whip & Ride!

I’m back!  Sorry for the delay ladies and gents.  Been busy and lame all at the same time.  Let’s get back to it, shall we?

Hondo, Texas.

Post corn maze.

Exercised and looking for some of these:

We took the backroads to The Backroads, a quaint little beer joint to be found on the road to Tarpley.

Complete with a dog on the front porch,

a very nice bartender who took our picture,

and a place to leave our mark.

The building itself is in shotgun style, bar immediately to the right and several large televisions for sports viewing pleasure.

I didn’t get any picture of the outside but it was impressive.  A nice pot belly stove, fancy horseshoe pits and conveniently rounded tables make this place an overall good hangout spot.  Being there during the day was relaxing, open to do your own thing or chat with strangers.  If you find yourself in that neck of the woods, be sure to stop by and write something on the big white wall towards the back, on the right side.

FYI: the smaller wall to the left is for Veterans Only.

Thanks for the pics A.R.!

 

It’s a fact! Fact:  My bologna has a first name.  It’s O-S-C-A-R.

Back in the Saddle Again

This past week, I re-visited two joints from previous road trips: Rihn’s and Devil’s Backbone.

Rihn’s was very low key.  We chatted with Sandra, played video crack (photo hunt!) and admired the sexy toilet. Also got to see some dance tickets and a calendar from the 50′s.

Devil’s Backbone was a little more wound up but it was a Friday.  There were two dogs roaming around inside, one rocking a Halloween sweater.  Within five minutes of sitting down, my friend was asked by the bartender to head to the back table so Pat could get a good look at her.  His eyes aren’t so good, you see.  Then some lady in the bathroom offered her a modeling contract, full of adventurous travel to Arizona.  The rest of the evening involved $1.75 beer, an invitation to a biker wedding and meeting a guy named Rush.  Who was incidentally thrilled both of our names are the same and proceeded to chorus them loudly.

Just wait to see what happens next time!

I’ll just have the salad trivia:  Every time you lick a stamp, you’re consuming 1/10 of a calorie.

Another awesome night at Arkey’s

That about sums it up.

Wikipedia fun fact: In northeastern India, ghost peppers are smeared on fences or incorporated in smoke bombs as a safety precaution to keep wild elephants at a distance.

No Kind of Dancer

As previously mentioned, I am no kind of dancer.  Which means I spend a fair amount of time checking out the dance floor.  Watching people dance is fun, especially older couples whose movements are incredibly in tune.  There are many styles of dancing in honky tonks; I’m only going to hit the most amusing ones.  The men will be picked on here because, as the leader, their style goes.  In no particular order:

The Walkers and Shufflers:

This group usually consists of younger guys and people new to the two steppin’ scene.  Instead of keeping time and whirling around, they either walk as they would on a sidewalk, only with a little more exaggerated knee bend, or they shuffle their feet around the outskirts of the floor.  The saving grace of this group is usually a tender woman, who comes along and shows them how to pick up their feet AND be on the sawdust at the same time.  Both sets tend to be a little awkward and bashful, which makes them adorable.  Also easy to relate to because most dancers began in this manner.

The Butter Churner and The Boxer:

The most easily recognizable of the styles, it is best to watch out for these folks because their arms are out to the side or straight up in the arm.  Butter Churners arms go up and down (like churning butter, get it?  No?  Here.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLh3s9X5fJQ).  The Boxer’s arm is straight up/ almost straight up and demonstrates more of a fist pumping action.

Here are two pictures of people dancing.  Can you spot the Butter Churner and the Boxer?

The Butter Churner:

The Boxer: 

(Easier to identify in real life)

Trotters:

These couples are forces to be reckoned with because they move unpredictably and quickly.  Their style tends to be a combination of very fast dancing and high knees flung in the air.  Don’t be fooled; this way takes serious concentration and years of practicing.  This group is least likely to venture out of their twosome.  If just watching a couple dance makes you exhausted, you may be witnessing a Trotter.

Lastly, The Neck Gripper/ The Personal Space Invader:

Admittedly, some chicks really dig this style.  These guys are the most likely to ask strangers to dance.  Maybe because some chicks dig this style.  The Neck Gripper is very much in control; not only with a strong lead but also by locking down an iron hand on the back or side of the partner’s neck.  The Personal Space Invader prides himself on every inch of his front touching his partner’s front.  Some take it even further by thrusting their knee in between yours ( you know who you are) while dancing.  Here is a picture of close dancers:

We’ll check back with them in nine months.

As noted, there are many, many ways to dance in a honky tonk.  These are just my favorites.  Thanks to the websites from which I stole pictures:

http://www.centraltexascountry.com/dance.html

http://www.bluegenesbandera.com/photo_album.html

http://www.banderacowboycapital.com/index.cfm

Political trivia:  President Herbert Hoover and The First Lady conversed with one another in Chinese when they did not want others to know what they were saying.

A is for Auslander

Almost back from our road trip, we stopped in at The Auslander http://www.theauslander.com in Fredericksburg to wet our whistles.

Both a restaurant and a biergarten (BEER GARDEN) with nighttime live music, I’m going to count this as a honky tonk, although being on the main street of a town with a ten month tourist season almost disqualifies it.

We parked in the back and bellied up to bar in the patio area.  Smoking is allowed everywhere outside, so beware if dining or opposed.

The bartender was efficient and attentive.  Beer selection was varied but not vast.  No one will be in danger of too many options but there were several from multiple genres and the staff answered questions and were generous with the samples.  I was not in an adventurous spirit and stuck to my usual.

The stream of patrons was steady and mostly tourist in nature.  I would imagine the evening tends to appeal to locals better but we left before that shift began.  Prices were not cheap but not outrageous, considering the prime location.  I can not attest to the menu but the fare was watered down German.  A nice place to stop once.

Thanks for the pictures A.R.!

Fact that will not once come in handy: The ball at the top of a flag pole is called a truck.